Marching Through Aquarius

Jupiter and Neptune are approaching their exact conjunction in the sign of The Water Bearer. Emotionally, this is a difficult time for a lot of people, whether or not this or that in your birth chart is compatible with the Aquarian energy. Heck, even if you're an Aquarius it can be tricky.

I think this is, in part, because Aquarius is (by definition) not "of the Ego." That's the job of the Sun, which rules Leo, the opposite sign from Aquarius. And Aquarius is ruled either by Uranus or Saturn (if you're of a more traditional frame of mind)... neither of which is terribly "sunny" in their temperament. And Jupiter and Neptune aren't impersonal or above it all as Aquarius is so often accused of being. They demand immersion in the experience -- whatever that experience may be.

We all have an Ego. It's the part of you that says "It's me" and "why is this happening to me?" and "you never called me when I wanted you to." In the Western world, most people get their first exposure to Astrology because of Sun Sign forecasts, which makes sense in a way. After all, it's my horoscope I want to read.

And when life makes us less of a star than we want to be, it's the Ego that feels it, informed by the sensitivity of the Moon. So, with all that "not me" going on out there, things that would normally hurt can become real wounds, and real wounds can become debilitating injuries.

So, try this: if you are alone (literally or figuratively) and it seems that the Universe isn't rewarding you for your continued tenancy there... try forgetting yourself. Open your arms... the arms given to you by the chain of life that extends all the way back to the beginning... and accept what is being sent your way. Don't embrace it... "embracing" is an action initiated by the Ego. Let it flow through you. Losing yourself can be the path to finding yourself. Besides, it's hard to be alone when you're One With Everything.Being a very small being in a very large Universe can be frightening, but it can also be liberating.

And if that fails, remember: one way or another... the Sun always comes back, and it's always on schedule.

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What I Do... And What I Don't Do

When I say I'm an astrologer, most people don't really know what the job entails, and that job varies from practitioner to practitioner. Let me tell you what I do.

I am a counselor, much like a regular counselor you'd see if there was a problem with your love life or your finances or your health or family. In many ways, it's exactly that straightforward. Unlike most standard counselors, I don't have to spend weeks or months fishing around for the finer details of your existence. I certainly don't know EVERYTHING from looking at a birth chart, but it saves a tremendous amount of time that way.

With a birth chart in place, we can figure out fairly quickly, and in detail, exactly who you are, where you're at, and where you're headed.

Here is what I DON'T do:

I don't tell you what (if anything) God, the Universe, Karma, or whatever really wants from you, or why. I don't feel it's my place to expound on these things. A doctor can tell you to change your diet or exercise more or whatever... but your doctor certainly shouldn't pass himself off as a divine, all-knowing sage. There are a lot of people in my line of work who come across this way. I'm not comfortable with that. If I was, I'd be a priest or a rabbi or something.

If your sink is clogged, your plumber may advise you to stop pouring bacon fat down the drain. If he spends 45 minutes first telling you about the bad karma you generated during a past life as a pig farmer in Atlantis, does that get the water flowing any faster?

I provide guidance and clarity and a context for life, plus an assessment of where things are going to go... both for yourself and for the others in your life.

Welcome aboard. I hope to see you come back soon. Heck, I might even make it worth your while.

And one more thing: yes, I can see your future too...

If you'd like more information on what a counseling session can do for you, or to inquire about my services, CLICK HERE... ask for your FREE Christmas surprise and discount!

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Book Excerpt: Sun In Pisces

(Since I've been kind of busy lately (keep an eye on Astrology.com for big news in the next month or so), I've decided to pump a little life into the blog by running brief excerpts from my book, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Love And Seduction By Starlight" (which is now in print and is available HERE (and don't believe it when it says it's out of stock -- that's a glitch) or in e-book form HERE). I'll be back with original material in another month or so.)

Have you ever had that experience where you are drunk enough to do something that you know is probably a bad idea, yet still been sober enough to realize it while you're doing it? Congratulations... you have had The Pisces Experience.

The symbol for Pisces is The Fish. Or rather, two fishes, headed in opposite directions, and neither one aware of the fact that they are completely surrounded by water. Pisces people tend to be focus on the spiritual and the higher values in life. This is a nice way of saying that they aren't the most practical creatures on the planet. Pisces is naturally in tune with spiritual concepts like karma. They are the kind of people who can empathize with a dog about its mishandling as a puppy while that dog is biting them. This quality tends to make them natural "jerk magnets." On the upside, they are wonderfully compassionate lovers and companions: just ask any jerk.

Fish folks love fantasy and adventure tales, and they have a peculiar gift for turning their lives into fantasy adventure tales. Unfortunately for Pisces, there is a shortage of magic wands and Lost Arks lying around to bring these stories to a successful resolution. Thus Pisces will often invest a lot of their time and energy into alcohol and/or drugs, which usually provide a much more predictable resolution than “real life” ever could.

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Book Excerpt: Sun In Aquarius

(Since I've been kind of busy lately (keep an eye on Astrology.com for big news in the next month or so), I've decided to pump a little life into the blog by running brief excerpts from my book, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Love And Seduction By Starlight" (which is now in print and is available HERE (and don't believe it when it says it's out of stock -- that's a glitch) or in e-book form HERE). I'll be back with original material in another month or so.)

The symbol for Aquarius is The Water Bearer, which is confusing because Aquarius isn't a "water sign,” it's an "air sign”. And when you combine atmosphere and moisture, you get fog. That pretty much describes what the thought processes of a typical Aquarius looks like to an outside observer. Aquarius is the sign most likely to have learned that “I gotta be me” is not a valid legal defence.

Aquarians have a reputation for being forward-thinking and rebellious. That's because they'd rather organize a sit-in than follow directions at work. Whereas most people will look at the crack in a dam and fear disaster, a typical Aquarius will simply stick his finger in -- although whether they're doing it to stop the leak or pry it open wider is anyone's guess. They tend to be comfortable with the scientific, analytical mindset, which tends to make them excellent researchers and awkward first dates: no one wants to be dissected over wine and pasta.

Aquarius people have both a strong independent streak and an appreciation for the thoughts and company of others. This makes them both excellent leaders who understand the strengths of the “herd mentality” but also the one most likely to run off on their own and get themselves eaten by a wolf.

Often, Aquarians have a fondness for fantasy, science fiction, and romantic historical fiction. That’s because "the here and now" is a really awkward place to spend all your time. especially if you're a chronic misfit like Aquarius. They can be excellent lovers, but you may always have the sneaking suspicion that they have just as much affection for their sex toys as they do for you.

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Can You Prove That Neptune Isn't A Socialist?

More examples of Neptune-induced cloudiness, deception, and intellectual failure, on the heels of my recent article about Sarah Palin and her ongoing free-fall into intellectual Neverland:

-Former Miss California (and former paragon of "traditional values") Carrie Prejean has recently had a sex tape (admittedly, solo) come to light, pulled an freak-out on Larry King, during a typical King softball interview (make sure you watch the Anderson Cooper clip about it), and then urged her ex-boyfriend to lie in order to back up her story about the sex tape having been made three years before it actually was... not realizing that the one time you can always count on an ex NOT lying about you is when the truth will make you look bad. Please also note the holiday pictures of Carrie and her boyfriend, where I'm sure absolutely no premarital sex happened, whatsoever.

Neptune has been squaring Carrie's Sun at 22 Taurus (and possibly her Moon too -- we don't have a time of birth) throughout her entire career fall. The Sun of course, rules how a person expresses their Ego. Also, her moon is somewhere-or-other in Scorpio, which is a great placement for making a sex tape. Also, for not wanting your sex tape to come up in public. Also, for getting cranky over minor perceived slights.

-In other Neptune news, Glenn Beck has recently recovered from an emergency appendectomy. He also had hemorrhoid surgery at the end of 2007. During this entire period of time, transiting Neptune has been conjunct Beck's natal Sun. This is a vote for Beck having Leo on the sixth house cusp (health matters), which might imply Pisces rising. Personally, I think that's a reasonable guess. Pisces can be frequently moved to tears by works of fiction, like the story about how America is falling to socialism.

Then again, Pisces is normally pretty compassionate, and so far Glenn hasn't apparently said anything about the financial ruin and/or unnecessary death he might well be facing if this had happened while he was one of America's 40 million or so people without medical coverage when this happened, and he continues to bash efforts to extend coverage to such people... so I might be wrong.

-Finally, former Vice President and Sith Lord Dick Cheney is facing questions about his role in the politically-convenient outing of a CIA agent. Transiting Neptune is currently squaring his natal Midheaven (career and public image), and normally Cheney has presented himself as efficient and whip-smart. The recently-declassified FBI document about his questioning in the matter showed that Cheney, uncharacteristically, couldn't recall the answer to a lot of questions. Seventy-two times, he couldn't recall.

My apologies if any of this appears politically partisan on my part. I assure you, it wasn't my idea to put Neptune where it is. Of course... I can't prove that I didn't, either.

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Book Excerpt: Sun In Capricorn

(Since I've been kind of busy lately (keep an eye on Astrology.com for big news in the next month or so), I've decided to pump a little life into the blog by running brief excerpts from my book, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Love And Seduction By Starlight" (which is now in print and is available HERE (and don't believe it when it says it's out of stock -- that's a glitch) or in e-book form HERE). I'll be back with original material in another month or so.)

The symbol for Capricorn is The Goat, but the ancient Babylonian symbol was a weird-looking goat/fish hybrid, because ancient Babylonians didn't have All Terrain Vehicles, which would have described Capricorn pretty well. They are solid and steady in almost every environment, and don't mind running you over to get to where they're going.

They usually worry too much about things, and even the happy ones usually end up sprouting worry lines on their forehead a little sooner than everyone else. They aren't necessarily more prone to depression than any other sign, but they are certainly more at home than most in that state of mind. What usually pulls them though is the solid determination that somehow life will be better if they can arrange things more logically.

Capricorns understand the value of keeping their nose to the grindstone, and Capricorn bosses usually keep their employee's noses ground to the cheekbones.

Goat People are usually the stable base you can build just about anything on. The men are usually reliable and hard-working. The women are sensitive enough to be hurt about all the right things, but brave enough to not let it show too much.

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Book Excerpt: Sun In Sagittarius

(Since I've been kind of busy lately (keep an eye on Astrology.com for big news in the next month or so), I've decided to pump a little life into the blog by running brief excerpts from my book, "Conquer The Universe With Astrology: Love And Seduction By Starlight" (which is now in print and is available HERE (and don't believe it when it says it's out of stock -- that's a glitch) or in e-book form HERE). I'll be back with original material in another month or so.)

The symbol for Sagittarius is the Centaur. That's because (although anyone can make a horse's ass of themselves) Sagittarians are actually born that way. They have an open, trusting, and bouncy approach to life, which is perhaps why they are prone to bouncing into open pits more than any other sign. Their faith in life is so deeply wired into them that they often literally don't bother to look where they are going, and thus tend to be accident-prone. That’s also the excuse they use for most of their relationship failures.

Sagittarians have a reputation for being freedom-loving and independent. This is how they like to see it -- everyone else merely thinks of them as being reckless and not taking direction well.

People are rarely surprised when a gay Sagittarius comes out of the closet, because they were usually broadcasting it to the world without trying. You can usually count on a Sagittarius to broadcast whatever is on their mind... their kid, their complaints about work, the details of their hernia operation, and so on. They are considered to be natural communicators, which is a nice way of saying they have an open-mouth policy. In the classic fairy tale "The Emperor's New Clothes," the kid who pointed out that the Emperor was actually naked was probably a Sagittarius. And if the Emperor had been one too, he would have probably countered with something like "Yeah, and it's GREAT! How do you all like my junk?"

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